Every once and a while I’ll hear a woman say she'd never date a Christian.In turn, I’ll say to them, “So if Tim Tebow or Russell Wilson walked up to you right now and asked you out on a date, you would reject them flat-out because of their Christian faith?All they really seem to mean is, “I’d never date any of the Christian men I’ve already met.” Which, of course, should have little to no bearing on future guys they meet.It’s no secret that Christianity preaches that sex should be reserved for marriage alone, and that most of the rest of the population begs to differ.Some Christians have lousy jobs and some quarterback Super Bowl teams.There are plenty of rotten human beings who call themselves Christians and plenty more who don’t. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard a woman come right out and make judgments about the attractiveness of guys serious about their Christian faith, but it’s certainly been implied.
Those are serious issues, of course, and I commend them for exiting those relationships. And likely their controlling and arrogant behavior would exist whether they were believers or not. Emmerich Vogt, author of a talk series called and advocate of twelve-step programs for healing, says often people try to justify their own issues using the Bible: "If a person has a control issue, then his mode of operating will attract him to all those verses of Scripture that support his need to control, in this instance, ‘Wives be submissive.’ Other verses, such as ‘Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her’ (Ephesians ) would not stand out for him," Vogt explains. That guy likely chose to justify his behavior by clinging to certain Bible verses. Often in the quest towards marriage and finding “the one,” something happens.It’s easy to overlook things that may not seem that big of a deal while dating, but these things could be destructive patterns once married. There’s no reason to settle for unhealthy or harmful relationships, simply to pursue being married. Having observed a number of attractive, accomplished women struggling to find spouses—a phenomenon many in the church have noticed as well—Birger wondered: What if the hookup culture on today’s college campuses and the wild ways of the big-city singles scene have little to do with changing values and a whole lot to do with lopsided gender ratios that pressure 19-year-old girls to put out and discourage 30-year-old guys from settling down?What if, in other words, the man deficit were real?Are you freaked out by the idea of dating an SCD—you know, a Super-Christian Dude? But still, I find myself wary of guys (and gals) who are, you know, Christian. I have been rejected on more than one occasion by a woman who considered me to be “too Christian” for her taste, and while I won't pretend to be able to speak for these women, I do wonder how much their decisions were informed by my reality as opposed to their preconceived notions.